"i have been sleeping on the street so that i can be close to an internet cafe."

The claim that Andrew is sleeping on the street (similar to accusations made in 2017 that his brother Adrian "left [him] living homeless in both the US and the UK for almost 2 months") are ridiculous - even a cursory google search will show Andrew's property ownership history, and can calculate his income/wealth from there. Someone who owned a three storey house in the Boston suburbs would not be sleeping on the street; and as far as Andrew's alleged long-haul Covid symptoms, one of his friends commented: "he is in good shape and health," and "he is happy and healthy!"

The part of this message that's worth analyzing is this:
"you are doing this to me
why are you doing this to me??"


Andrew's accusation that something is being done to him is a perfect example of DARVO: "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." Andrew is clearly the one in the wrong - behaving irrationally, being obstructive, making false accusations and holding his brother's green card application (and, ultimately, future) hostage; yet in his communications, he paints himself as the victim.

It's worth repeating that Andrew was only asked to submit some basic personal information and sign an affidavit - relatively quick tasks that would be virtually costless for him to accomplish. Instead, he delayed his brother's green card application by 2 years (and ends this email with a thinly veiled threat that he'll delay it even longer).

For most of his adult life, Adrian got similar emails from Andrew: Pages and pages of stream of consciousness rambling, often filled with false allegations and ad hominem attacks. You can see many of them on this blog, which is only the tip of the iceberg as far as Andrew's toxic, bullying behaviour. In face to face interactions, Andrew regularly subjects his family members and romantic partners to verbal abuse, emotional cruelty, and gaslighting. [As an aside, is anyone who has witnessed Andrew's emotional outbursts really convinced that he spends all his time practicing yoga and meditating? If the purpose of yoga and meditation are to find balance, they seem to have had the opposite effect on Andrew.]

Avoiding Andrew completely seems like a practical response, but that only makes Andrew more spiteful. In trying to complete his green card process, Adrian is trapped between two unpleasant options: Subject himself to the exhausting cycle of addressing all of Andrew's false allegations, or give up trying to move back home to NY. What would you do, if your future was hanging in the balance?

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